As I sit here attempting to formulate something that I might communicate to you that may be of some value, I caught myself thinking about other coaches who seem to always have a handy quote from some life-changing book or spiritual thought-leader, right at their fingertips.
“Why can’t I do that?”, was the gist of the thought.
Why can’t I have a mental back-log of inspiring quotes? I should have started collecting them in a file. What’s wrong with me?
And then it hit me…that I was doing the very thing that I coach my clients to look out for…
I was comparing myself.
Not to any one person…but to an ideal.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great to have role models, to see or admire something in someone and have a desire to emulate it. This is how we learn and grow.
The inherent danger lies in the complacency of not taking any action because of mistakingly thinking that, because a person has a particular trait or skill that they are somehow better than you.
This is when we start feeling shitty. We judge and berate ourselves instead of recognizing that we are actually admiring a trait or skill in someone else. We then take those feelings as ‘proof’ of our defeat. We adopt a ‘what’s the use’ attitude and subsequently take little or ineffective action.
What would happen if we were to simply love and admire that person’s trait or skill, rather than beat ourselves up for not having it?
Might we allow ourselves to be filled with more joy, gratitude, appreciation, and love?
And how might you act coming from that state?
Now that’s ideal.